life's been good to me. went on a 40day media fast to seperate myself from this world and it's putrid affairs. went over quite well. it's interesting what you accomplish when you force yourself to find yourself outside of the worlds definitions.
i eventually want to become a hermit in the woods. that would be amazing to live off the land and discover the beauty and sufficiency in all that God is.
Jesus is amazing
the new iron and wine single, boy with a coin, amazing. go look it up. i got the single at ameoba on haight but i'm sure you can find it other places
i love you all
starting a 24-7 prayer soon so keep your eyes peeled like ready to cook carrots.
i'm in arizona now, and i was for new years. so far it's been eventful.
not as fun as last time cause there is less to see but definatley eventful. i went across the border and got a mexican blanket and hooded jackets. the ones you see all the mexican's wearing on cinco de mayo, ya. that one. =]
i went to express got more jeans. got a sweater and thermal from forever21 random crap arizona is nice, but definatly differnt. my grandpa hasn't said anything about my nose peircings but whateverrr. i had to go to their church sunday and it was weird. it was exactly like my old church... so structured so weird so religious
blah whatever. i'm trying not to pass judgement.
new years resolution: make it even better than 2006. and fall deeper in love with God (and josiah <3)
you can't see it, but there are tons of people worshiping God. it's amazing how much he showed up. passionatly pursuing eagerly waiting for you Lord.
God's been putting this on my heart too:
how is a strong sword made? how is a warrior made? a peice of scrap metal is put through a scorching fire. it is burned almost to a melting point. it is taken off the heat and pounded with other harder iron until it is made sharp. then shaved and carved and used to fight.
think about it. how do you expect to build character without going through some sort of fire? without having someone beat the strength out of you?
i'm thankful for the trails and tribulation's the Lord has put me through because i would not be the same person i am today.
music: its not always butterflys its compromise that moves us along
last night, worship was amazing. defiantly something i needed to calm me down from my chaotic schedule. it seems like God's really starting to do something. i'm learning to let go. like really go of a lot to just sit and be humble in his presence.
i've been having some bad dreams about josiah lately and it freaks me out. like him doing things that he knows i don't like him doing. i only had two of them but still.
i'm in my photo lecture at the moment cause my internet isen't working at home.
next semester i'm taking only 12 units, four classes.
went to newport this past weekend. placed three times behind varsity, got 5th overall. interesting weekend. i'm wasting time in my coms class typing in this when i should be: 1.) listening to my professor 2.) reading a book that i have to write an essay on due by 4:30 3.) researching for a paper due at 10:30 tomorrow.
things with josiah have been kind of rough but i still love him to death, i think we've reached a good point in our relationship. i lovelovelove him.
i went home a couple weekends ago and it made me miss home. i miss danielle and indra and jessica. and i miss shane and amber and i miss home cooking and not eating spaghettios every night. and i miss having good christmases and i miss armenian food. i miss when my grandma could still walk and i miss her piano in the tv room. i miss not having to worry about money.
i miss being a kid. =[
God's doing something in me. lets see what it is..
was good. no friday morning practice so i crashed at josiahs thursday night. we made a fire and made smores. it was yummy. =]
friday was good. we went to retro and he helped out while i listened to conrad preach. amazziinngg.
saturday was head of the american. i'm stroking the JV boat. so i have a chance of going to newport and race there. after the race, i went over to josiah's house again and hung out. we carved a pumpkin and baked the seeds. we stayed up till about 3am next to the fire talking and looking through old scrapbooks. it was wonderful. <3 i'm so glad i've got him.
so this semester has been crazy. started out really rough, especially with crew but everything is coming into focus.
photography is amazing and i can't wait to get more into it. journalism is interesting, i love journalism but i might change to english major. who knows? enviornmental studies is amazing. i don't have a tree hugger for a professor, just a really down to earth tell it like it is professor whom was a political science major, so he knows his stuff which is refreshing. my coms class is a joke. english is awesome, my professor, again, i love.
and that's about it. life is good. stressful but good.
i've been getting attacked a lot lately from a lot of different little things just getting under my skin, but i know something is around the corner, something great is about to happen.
so i realized im probably the most rebelious person in the bay area. im fighting my way up stream to get back to my river city. i think i am the only teenager in the entire bay that: a) doesn't drink b) doesn't smoke c) is fine with being alone d) believes in God and not a coward about it
it's sad to know that to be rebellious in the 2000's means to live a life with morals.
soo got back from beach camp yesturday and it was AMAZING good times. very very good times. i miss everyone at heartbeat. and getting away from the bay made me realize just how much i've grown in God. how much i've started finally standing up for what i believe. and how thankful i am to not have to feel empty and worthless anymore. i boogie boarded half of monday and skim boarded the rest. skim boarded tuesday and layed on the beach with josiah and talked for a while and dug for sand crabs. i gave crabs to like 8 people hahaha.
camping was amazing. the constant bonfire was sweet. i smell like hickory smoked meat now though but oh well.
today i worked a 10 hour shift.
everything is FIANLLY working out with the apt. thanks God. love ya buddy.
so i got a place to live. and im pretty sure i got a roomate. now i gotta figure out how im going to pay for it and whats going on with move in dates and blablalba
so edit from monday. jessica and i ran but didn't go to hmb. to much traffic. so in finding something to do, we decided to take a tiny little road trip up to sacramento. and when we got to sacramento, we decided to take a tiny road trip up to chico. we arrived at about 2 in the morn and slept at our friends' amber's place. and then we all went to this beautiful creek there and relaxed till about 2 in the afternoon. i got sun burned but it was way worth it.
hopefully ill go back there soon.
today i worked from 10 to 4 and then jess and i went running again and i ran 4 miles. straight. it felt GLORIOUS
my goal is to be able to run 8 miles straight by the end of summer. and 2 miles on the beach. endurance baby endurance!
bfd saturday. set it straight next saturday(HOPEFULLY!) beach camp in mid july seattle end of july maybe sink with cali with the first to leave boyz (DANG i miss them) AND GORILLA BISCUITS!
pizza my heart is going good. im getting my liscense soon. my mom bought a new car so i get the beast. i might get a second job at victoria secrest. set it straight on the 17th in sacramento (say that 10 times fast) bfd this saturday (YES THURSDAY AND ANTI-FLAG ARE PLAYING!)
GORILLUA BISCUITS ON AUG 17TH! GET FREAKING EXCITED!! i get to see shaneface, amber, jen, norman and josiah. and hopefully others!
i miss everyone. i love you all. lets hang.
p.s. who wants to go to sound and fury? PLEASE COME WITH MEEEE
Your dating personality profile:
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.
Your date match profile:
Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Your Top Ten Traits
1. Big-Hearted 2. Liberal 3. Religious 4. Athletic 5. Intellectual 6. Adventurous 7. Practical 8. Outgoing 9. Romantic 10. Wealthy/Ambitious
Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Big-Hearted 2. Religious 3. Adventurous 4. Practical 5. Conservative 6. Intellectual 7. Athletic 8. Funny 9. Traditional 10. Shy
i was looking back at all the old lj posts and i found one saying bye to everyone and how everyone was saying they will miss me. and i bet you none of you miss me.
so i read all these live journal entries about people trying to find answers and trying to find acceptance. begging people around them for just a look of acceptance and then the devastation when they don't get it.
and i love knowing that i don't need that anymore. i don't need to put my self worth in the hands of others. because i know that my acceptance in the Lord is all i need. and i know where i stand. and thats all that matters. only God can judge me. and i feel sorry for all of you whom will never find that because your still to scared of what people around you will think if you say you believe. and its sad, but its your choice.
i don't need to search anymore. i asked the heavens and i recieved. PRAISE
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